Monday, May 7, 2012

Tip #1: It's not about you!

I already had this in mind as my 1st Tip for Single Males, but seeing a comment over on the Hotwife Experiences blog cinched it.

An (apparently single male) reader there took issue with how the MFM experience was being portrayed, saying
"A Hotwife does not, or should not, always mean an MFM"
We agree. But this commentator went on to write:
"The definition of a Hotwife SHOULD be something along these lines: ..."
Now that's where we take issue!
For us at least, the 1st and most important thing that a single male needs to be aware of is this..
TIP #1:  It's Not About You!

I can't count how many emails we have received that start with an introduction something like..
  1. I am 32 years old, 6'2" and have a (fill in size here)" cock
  2. I'm into DP, DVP....
  3. I would love to get naked with her..
  4. I have done MFM twice and would like to do it again.
  5. How about giving me a shot at her...
Get the theme? I, I, I, .. me!  All about what the Single Male (SM) wants.

How about getting to know us, asking about what our interests are, complimenting the lady, etc.? The sad thing is that all of these opening lines are real, adapted from emails that we have actually received in response to our ads or profiles on lifestyle sites. If you want to know why so many couples say "Absolutely No Single Males" in their ads, this is the reason. These lines show no respect, and a totally egocentric point of view.

Compare those lines to these:
  1. Thank you for posting; I found your ad to have a certain appeal and allure. I am sure your inbox is overflowing, yet I feel compelled to throw my hat in the ring. 
  2. I liked the tone & sensibility you expressed in your posting. I’m sure you’ve received lots of emails but I imagine it’s not easy to find the right sort of person
  3. Enjoyed the classy pic you posted...
These opening lines are real too. 

Guys, in many ways this is no different than approaching a single woman that you might meet somewhere, but with a very important additional consideration for you to keep in mind.. this woman belongs to another man! She isn't being offered up to you like some sort of prostitute.

Perhaps for certain cuckold relationships that involve humiliation, that won't matter so much, but not for us. We make that clear in our profiles and ads. Any man that has the privilege of enjoying the sexual energy of my Hot Wife, to any degree, must be cognizant that he is an invited guest in our relationship. Act that way.. and you could enjoy some of the most erotic experiences of your life. We enjoy intelligence, respect, and class.  It is first and foremost about making a connection that is non-threatening and enjoyable for everyone involved. 

Maybe we don't become "friends with benefits", but at least if you show yourself to be someone we might want to be friends with, there is a chance you could benefit greatly!


  1. Excellent post. We too find the one line emails a quick way to get the brushoff. Enjoying your blog.

  2. Thanks Tara!

    It is amazing to me how often SMs do this. We even had a guy contact us recently, saying that he was enjoying our blog. Yet, when it came to exchanging emails to get acquainted, he was all about telling us what he wanted and ignoring what works for us. Totally missed the point.


  3. So many Kasidie and SDC emails--especially solo male ones--are laughable. Your advice is welcome, but I doubt it will be heeded much


    1. Thanks for the comment 2LuvBirds.

      I'm afraid you're right. It's amazing that you commented on this post. Just yesterday, I (Mr. 2Hot) was thinking that I needed to post about the 99% of emails we get that violate this basic principle. We've gotten so many recently, that I even added an intro line to our SLS profile to say "This Isn't Craigslist"! Then I realized I already had written this post as our Tip #1!

      But never fear. I will not give up. We're totally OK just connecting with the 1% of guys who get it.


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